The Chair

By: G. Elmer Munson
September 10, 2008

“That has got to be the ugliest fucking chair I’ve ever seen,” Josh said in a disgusted tone. Adel slapped him playfully but with a slightly hurt expression on her face.

“Be nice,” she said. “That was a gift from my Aunt Janet. It belonged to her Great-Aunt Helen who passed away many years ago.”

“So just because it belonged to an obscure relative doesn’t mean my eyes should be offended every time I walk past it,” Josh said. “That hardly seems fair.”

“Well I like it,” Adel returned, not a hundred-percent truthful. It was one of the old Victorian-style armchairs that always looked more uncomfortable than they actually were. Looking at it now, she wasn’t even really sure what color it was. It was sort of an off yellow greenish, but dark and dull as if it had sat in a smoky room for years. Although she knew Aunt Janet didn’t smoke, she had no idea about her Great-Aunt Helen, so this could be entirely true.

To make it worse, there were unidentifiable stains on the seat. The once-mahogany wood was faded dull and one of the legs had scratches that ran almost all the way down. At the bottom, the legs had odd-looking “feet” similar to a claw-foot tub. At some point someone had decided to paint the claws a deep red color, which was thankfully almost worn off. She hadn’t noticed that little bonus before, and she didn’t particularly care for it.

Adel started thinking she might ask Josh to clean it up a little. That might make him hate it less. Hell, it might make her hate it less. A little sanding, staining, and maybe new upholstery might turn this monstrosity into a respectable, albeit uncomfortable chair. She was just about to open her mouth to share this thought when Josh spoke up.

“We could just burn it?” Josh said, as if it were a question. “After all, no one in their right mind is going to want the ugly thing.”

It wasn’t funny this time, and Adel gave Josh her “Shut the fuck up” look that she just knew he hated to get. She didn’t even need to say a word.

“Right, sorry. Maybe we could clean it up then?” Josh asked, trying to switch directions before he got in too much trouble. “It could do with a sanding and maybe a nicer fabric.”

Adel smiled, not because she really felt like it, but because she knew she should. It was, after all, horrendously ugly, and she couldn’t blame Josh for hating it. She just wished he could be more sensitive at times.

“Deal?” Josh asked, a grin starting in the corner of his mouth.

“Deal,” Adel replied.

“Well then, now that we’ve settled that, what’s for dinner?” Now Josh was smiling fully, obviously pleased with what he believed to be a tactful save on his part. In truth, Adel was not at all pleased. She still felt a strange disquiet, like things were just a little off tonight. Maybe he was right and food would be the ticket. She couldn’t remember when she’d last eaten, and could probably do with a few hours out.

“How about we go for a Chinese buffet?” Adel asked, giving Josh her “I give in” look. She knew the answer already, even before his face lit up like a Christmas tree. Josh never tired of King Wok. She sometimes thought he was going to turn into a puddle of Lo Mein.

“Fucking-A,” was all Josh could say.



They returned in better spirits. Josh had his usual pitcher of beer and Adel had two glasses of wine. Luckily King Wok was within walking distance or they might have had difficulty getting back home. As usual, Josh dropped his keys on the floor by the door and plopped his ass on the couch. Adel hated that he left his keys like that, but it was one of the habits she just couldn’t break him of and had decided long ago that it was easier to live with it than try to change it.

Adel followed him in the living room to snuggle on the couch, although she knew Josh would be more interested in whatever game was on than in her. Still, a girl has to try. By this point he already had his 10-inch remote in hand and was happily channel surfing.

“What’s on,” Adel asked, slipping in close to Josh.

“Nothing so far,” he answered, practically pounding the channel button into a sticky paste. After a minute or so of that, Adel was ready for something more interesting. She reached for his crotch. Josh looked over, grinned, and hit the power button.

“TV’s shit anyway,” Josh said with a smile. Adel smiled back. They both got up and went to bed.



Adel’s eyes opened wide, though in the darkness they could see very little. She instinctively reached over for Josh, but there was an empty spot where he should have been. She didn’t know what woke her up but she hated sleeping alone and would be unable to get back to sleep without knowing where he was.

“Josh?”

Only silence.

“Josh? Are you there?” Adel was desperately scanning the shadows for any sign of movement that might mean Josh was dicking with her. She wouldn’t find it funny, but at least she’d know he was there. She saw nothing.

Adel listened for the slightest movement, but not even the sound of the wind outside reached her. She slowly slid the covers off of her and pulled her legs over the side of the bed. After one more moment of searching for movement, she dropped off the bed and onto the cold wooden floor.

Adel froze where she was, again looking and listening for the telltale creak of floorboard or rustle of clothing that meant Josh was nearby. Finding nothing, she began to creep towards the door, the pads of her bare feet barely making a sound. She passed slowly past the bedroom window, closed against the cold night outside. The trees in the back garden swayed with a breeze she could not hear or feel.

As Adel approached the door, she noticed it was slightly ajar. Even though they lived alone, they always went to bed with the door closed. She never really knew why, but Josh insisted so she complied. She breathed a sigh of relief, because this likely meant Josh had slipped out to use the can or something equally harmless. She reached for the door to pull it open.

Then she heard a noise. It was not a sound she was familiar with, certainly not one that she had experienced in all their years of living there. It was as if the walls sighed and their breath made their way down the hall and through the slightly open door. She felt the air rush past, her air flowing back slightly from her face. She smelled a scent so subtly of earth, an unpleasant stink of earth like that of a fresh grave.

Adel froze there, crouched and waiting for something else, a sound perhaps. After a number of minutes, she decided to open the door. Grasping the edge with hands already clammy with sweat, she slowly pulled the door towards her. As the hinges groaned in protest, she silently cursed Josh for not oiling the door as she had asked multiple times. The slow, steady creak became too much for her, and she yanked the door the rest of the way open with a quick screech.

There was nothing in the hall. Adel looked left towards the bathroom, the soft glow of the nightlight a small comfort to her, but there was no movement from within. She looked right towards the living room and kitchen beyond, but there was no telltale glow of the refrigerator or chaotic dancing lights from the television suggesting Josh was catching a late game. There was only silence.

Then the stench hit Adel full force. Like the waft of unpleasant air she had already experienced, but much stronger...more potent. She struggled to breathe as her body fought simultaneously for oxygen and to rid itself of the overpowering filth that clung to the air. She pulled back from the door, choking and clumsily falling backwards onto the floor. The smell was less in here and she was able to draw in a few saving breaths.

As Adel lay on the floor, she became aware of a low hum, like the hum of electricity, only lower as if the growl of a large animal. With the hum the smell seemed to fade almost immediately. From the hallway to the right, a glow began to rise out of the darkness. It was soft and had a strange calming effect on her as it spread into the bedroom, surrounding her. A smile began in the corner of her mouth, although she had no idea why.

Adel stood slowly, mindful of her footing. She gingerly stepped to the door and looked back down the hall. The light here was brighter and led to the living room. Adel’s smile spread across her face.

“Josh?” Adel asked, hopeful. She was filled with so much relief she practically ran down the hall to the living room so she could see for her own eyes that it was Josh all along and she was just being silly. She nearly slid past the door in her effort to stop on the smooth floors, but grabbed the door frame and looked into the room.

What Adel saw was an old woman, sitting in her newly-acquired chair, staring blankly at her. She was clothed in a plain white nightgown, dirty from years of wear. Her hair stuck straight out in random patterns, a dirty shade of grey. Her face was empty of any emotion or movement. Her dark eyes pierced through Adel and fixed her to the spot, all happy feelings gone. In those eyes Adel saw the life and death of a thousand people, voices screaming in her head as she witnessed every one’s untimely demise. Visions swirled around Adel’s head like ghosts trying to share their story of pain with her. There were so many of them, seemingly fighting for attention as they crossed Adel’s sight.

It seemed like an eternity, but through it all, the old woman sat still, fixed on Adel as she struggled with the urge to scream, laugh, cry, and run all at the same time. Instead she stood there, jaw slack, drool running down her chin, staring unbelievably at this unexpected vision.

The woman sat so still, Adel could not be sure if she was alive or dead, or if she was even there at all. The scene was so bizarre it was unreal. Adel stared transfixed for what seemed like hours, but was in realty mere minutes. What drew her from her daze was a soft whisper coming from directly behind her.

“Adel.”

Adel blinked, and then turned slowly, not sure what had just happened. In the hallway behind her, there was no one.

“Adel!” Again, a whisper from behind her, only this time it was more intense. She whirled around, desperate to determine the source, but was greeted by only the increasing darkness of the hallway. It was as if the dark were liquid, creeping towards her and blotting out all but her living room and her unexpected visitor.

Then the old woman moved for the first time. She opened her mouth slightly, the corners rising in a wicked smile. There started a low guttural sound which slowly rose to a manic cackle, the sound of a mad woman. Adel watched the features of the woman change ferociously between what seemed like crazed happiness to severe pain. The woman held her hand out to Adel, her voice all the while continuing to rise to inhuman levels. It was beginning to become unbearable, the sound was so great. Adel clasped her hands over her ears and opened her mouth to scream, but no sound would come out.

The woman rose quickly and effortlessly, floating to her feet. Adel wanted to run, to scream, but her body betrayed her and would not move. The old lady moved forward without moving her legs, a specter barely skimming the floor it crossed. Adel shut her eyes, fresh tears squeezing out either side and rolling down her cheeks. She heard a low groan coming from somewhere, rising slowly before she realized it was her own voice.

“no, no, no, No, No, No, NO, NO, NO!” Adel was screaming now, her eyes squeezed shut so hard she could see white under her eyes. The air surrounding her became even more alive, beginning to churn and swirl in a manic storm that rocked her nearly off her feet. Winds simultaneously cold and warm pummeled her face and moved her body side to side in jerky motions. It was as if a hurricane had unleashed itself in her apartment.

Adel threw her eyes open and found herself face to face with the woman. Her eyes were rolled back in her skull, dirty white and bleeding around the edges. Her wicked hands reached out, fingers like ragged claws nearly touching Adel’s face. Her mouth was open wide, rotting teeth parted to display a mouth full of sores and yellow pus spilling out the corners and running down her chin. The stench that rose from her lungs was so rancid it burned Adel’s eyes and nose, a stench unlike any she had ever experienced.

The old woman began to draw in breath, slow at first but gaining momentum. Soon all the air in the room seemed to be sucked down her throat, still manic like a storm. It tried to draw Adel in with it. The old woman’s mouth started to stretch impossibly wide, her jaw unhinging to make more room. Adel thought she meant to swallow her entirely as the old woman’s mouth became greater than her head and continued stretching. The winds were even fiercer now and Adel had to struggle to remain on her feet.

Adel finally found her voice under her control as she let out a piercing scream that filled the apartment, matching the fury of the winds. They both stood there, the old woman incredibly drawing in breath and Adel shrieking mere inches away from each other. The old woman’s throat made wet, disgusting sounds as it drew in Adel’s screams, as if it were digesting them.

Then a hand grasped Adel’s shoulder, a strong hand with a fierce grip. Adel choked on her scream and the old woman roared in her breath even harder. Adel looked back in shock to see a man grabbing her, drawing her back to the hallway. It was a familiar man, thought her senses were too dazed to realize it immediately. It was her man. It was Josh.

She threw her hand around his waist and together they pulled with all their might, Josh anchored on the door frame and Adel latched on to Josh for dear life. The winds increased, threatening to draw them both into the living room, but Josh was strong and he held his ground. For what seemed an eternity they struggled, clinging to the door and to each other like children caught in a storm.

Slowly, the winds died down. The unbearable stench quickly faded, as did the old woman’s voice. Adel and Josh remained there, clutched together, eyes clamped shut for fear of what might come next. After a while of nothing, Adel opened her eyes to survey the scene.

She saw the hallway, dark but not completely. Light was filtering in from the other rooms, rooms that had windows to the outside world. It was dawn! She looked back to the living room to see a frail old woman sitting in the chair, her mouth turned down in disgust. She stared at Adel even as she began to fade, the light from the living room windows increasing as the old woman’s shape faded from sight.

Josh was next to Adel now, watching the scene in wonder. How much of what happened did Josh witness? Adel could not be sure, and she was in no mood to ask just yet. She reached out her hand and clasped Josh’s. They stood there together, hand in hand, watching the light increase until there was nothing left of the woman except the slight lingering smell of decay. Soon, that too was gone.

All that remained was the chair. Josh turned to Adel, clearly shaken.

“Now can we get rid of that ugly fucking chair?”

Adel couldn’t think of anything she’d rather do, and she smiled.